Archive for March, 2005


Boats_of_saintesmarieYesterday was the 150th anniversary of the birth of Vincent van Gogh.  Van Gogh was close to being a master he lived with totality and authenticity. His passion for his art and for humantiy is so apparant in his life.

I love his work and I love him.

Love is something eternal; the aspect may change, but not the essence.
— Vincent Van Gogh.

One may have a blazing heart in one’s soul, and yet no one ever comes to sit by it.
— Vincent Van Gogh.

Lust for Life by Irving Stone is the most amazing book – it is a fictionalised account of the life of Van Gogh. I cried rivers when reading it, tears of pain and tears of joy, such a beautiful account of a beautiful soul doing difficult work in a misunderstanding milieu.  this was one of Osho’s favourite books. I was recently in the Van Gogh museum in Amsterdam I think very few people actually understand Vincet but Irving Stone certainly did.


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The Interesting Krishnamurti



"The mystique of
        enlightenment is based upon the idea of transforming yourself. I maintain that there is
        nothing to change or transform."

"Meditation itself is evil. That is why you get evil thoughts when you
        start meditating."

        Anything you want to be
        free from for whatever reason is the very thing that can free you."

"Why should life have any meaning? Why should there be any purpose to living?
        Living itself is all that is there. Your search for spiritual meaning has made a problem
        out of living."


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Greta Lange

Greta_1Greta played the female lead in the short film I wrote – The Art of Flirting.

Greta is an exceptional actress and has recently started to believe that herself which is making her that much more confident in letting it out. If you have a part which fits her exotic looks I cannot recommend someone more highly.

She doesn’t have a website yet but if you want to see her work email me and I’ll get you a copy of The Art of Flirting.

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Spring sap

PassionateSpring is here.  Sap is rising.  Couples are kissing everywhere. mmmmmmmmm…

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How often do we ask "why?" about our being in a relationship or wanting to be in one. Is it that you don’t like being alone or living alone? Is it that you want regular sex? Or maybe you want to have children? Or do you want love? Why do you want romantic love? And do you realise all romantic love is temporary and only divine love lasts?

For me its about personal growth. I want to be in a relationship because if I pay attention nothing help me growth as much. The first big spiritual shove I got was when my first love, Liza, split up with me. Soon after this I started practising ritual magick in earnest and this then lead to a year long groups study of Magick. I no longer do magick any more but it was the start of my spiritual commitment. I think many people fall into realtionships without thinking abut their motivation. For me its first and formeost growth. Oh yes and sex 🙂 – I am not ready for bramacharaya yet.

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The Movie Making Manual

Moviemakingmanual_2The Movie Making Manual has a new logo by the multi-faceted, multi-talented Cauri Jaye.

The Movie Making Manual is a wikibook.  Wikis are a brilliant concept where the book is online books and editable by anyone. Anyone can update or change any page – this quickly produces accurate and detailed information. The concept of freely editable online information has been proven by the phenomenal sucess of the wikipedia (www.wikipedia.org) which now has over 500000 entries and has long overtaken Encyclopedia Britanica in number of entries, it is far more up-to-date than the EB and in many cases is more accurate.

There is a superb WIRED article about the wikipedia.

currently the Movie Making Manual is no.3 on wikibooks "most active" books edited so if you know anything about film come along and help out!

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Sex and Desire

YabyumSo now I find myself examining deeply the nature of sex and desire.  Is it necessary for one on the path to transcend desire or rather will the desire drop away naturally of its own accord?  And if the desire drops does the sex?

Recently I dropped all desire/need for alcohol and marijuana.  Ocasionally I have a glass or a puff and enjoy but there is no desire to seek it out, no need to imbibe while others around are so doing and also no judgement, rejection or running away from it.  So the sex feels like it could be the same story but this desire/attachment goes far far far deeper.

Readng about those practising celibacy or bramacharaya is interesting.  My reactions used to be "They are mad and they are repressed".  This attitude is softening – celibacy is a common feature among those on the religious path – the withdrawal from sex.  Devout Christian, Hindi and Bhuddist monks and nuns are all chaste.

There are other paths of course.  Alchemy, Tantra and Taoism indicate  that it is not so much abstinence from sex that is important but rather continence.  For men this certianly means avoidance of spilling semen. 

If one thinks about this the is a definite logic at work here.  Sperm contains billions and billions of potential human beings – surely these must take a lot of energy to create? If this energy is being directed outward perhaps it is unavailable for spirtiual growth.  For both sexes this continance seems to be avoidance of explosive orgasm.

My experience is that there has of late been a shift in my desire.  I no longer automatically want to have sex with every gorgeous women I  hang out with.  The possibility has arisen to enjoy the company without the desire.  In the past this desire has usually been there subtly guiding my actions.

There is still however the feeling that I have just scratched the surface of the sex/orgasm experience and there is a curiosity to travel further. Even with practising continence (which I have for some time)  there is still a feeling that there is far more to be explored.  This kind of deep commited exploration requires a willing and able partner – one not content with paddling in the shallows.

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