Archive for June, 2005

Erwin Hessle again

I’m such a shameless fan.  Anyway more wisdom from "Erwin Hessle" of alt.magick, he is replying to "m-urana".

> I suspect that persistence is the single most important virtue a student  of
> magick possesses.
A fuckwit who persists simply persists in being a fuckwit. This is straight out of the ‘as long as you try, it’ll all come right in the end’ school of crap. It may be the least painful attitude with which to face your existence, but it’s a long way from being the truth.
After careful consideration I’ve decided that the most important virtue is courage, specifically the courage to admit to yourself that you are not the person you think you are. Once you have this one down, the rest follows relatively easily, because you’re not fooled by yourself any more.

You fuckers need to read these last two sentences very carefully, because they are your way out of the darkness.


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Barefoot Being

Yay! I had an article on being barefoot posted to the front page at Kuro5hin.

Barefoot Being (Culture)

By stzu
Wed Jun 29th, 2005 at 08:22:10 PM EST

Early this summer I was at the Small World Music festival in Kent Southern England.  The music was great the crowd superb and many of us enjoyed wandering barefoot on the grass. 

A lot of the positive feelings were down to the general ambiance but I took particuar notice of how vital my feet felt, the coolness of the dew, the playful tickling of the grass, the warmth of the bare earth in the sunshine.  3 days barefoot and my feet felt alive and energised.  On returning to London and putting shoes it felt like caging a bird which had  been given a taste of freedom. So the shoes came off again.

Read it the rest at: http://www.kuro5hin.org/story/2005/6/29/44836/7374

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Aziz Kristof

Returning to the Natural Perspective of
      Human Awakening

By Aziz Kristof

In ancient times, a few thousands years ago, the first awakened beings made an attempt to explain the truth of Enlightenment within the context of human life. It was a difficult task because the basic conceptual tools which could build the frame of understanding, were not yet created.

It took the effort of many generations to crystallise a fundamental structure of philosophical, ethical and mystical models for spiritual realisation, which could reflect in a safisfactory way the reality of Enlightenment. There was, however, a danger that the natural reality of awakening could become distorted by the intervention of the human mind, which always has a tendency to impose on reality a certain linear and simplistic logic, a tendency to be extreme and dogmatic. And this is what has happened: the myth of Enlightenment replaced the reality of Enlightenment.

A long time ago, the concept of liberation was created: the vision of a free man, god-like, beyond suffering, beyond imperfection, an immaculate being. This idea, promising the ultimate freedom from the human condition, was not incorrect but ex-treme in casting off human nature and negating a certain essential human sensitivity. The price we pay for following this model to the very end is disconnection from our humanness, closing down The Soul cannot become awakened unless she acknowledges her inherent gentleness and innocence.

A liberated being is not automatically awakened to the Soul. Enlightenment, as is traditionally understood, may disconnect one even further from the reality of Pure Me. Why? Because one becomes stuck in the impersonal experience, not being able to make the final step, which is awakening to the personal experiencer.

Just as, at one stage of evolution, a human needs to become a Buddha, in order to transcend ignorance, so the Buddha has to go beyond Enlightenment in order to become human and reach the true Natural State. The complete understanding of the Natural State goes beyond seeing it merely as consciousness free from thoughts or the non-abiding condition of pure being. The Natural State is total existence, radical wholeness, where human sensitivity, intelligence and emotion, are contained unconditionally in the universal space of isness, which is the unity of Being and Love. To become human again has a different flavour from the Zen idea of returning to the ‘market place.’ Here, we speak about the ultimate Suchness, where human sensitivity is acknowledged and the presence of the Soul fully manifested.

Who is the Human Buddha? He or she is simply a complete human being; who is one with the light of Creation. It is true that Enlightenment takes us beyond the human realm, but, paradoxically, it is being realised and experienced through human consciousness and within the basic limitations of the human dimension. Our wish is to bring back to the reality of Selfrealisation, a truly human perspective. We call it compassion for our human nature.

Many awakened beings have suffered, trying unsuccessfully to fit themselves to the model of a spiritual hero or superman. When one is not awakened, one tends to project many unreal expectations and ideas onto the reality of Self-realisation. But when one reaches Enlightenment, one sees that there is no way to escape from the human destiny. Nevertheless, an enlightened being may notunderstand it, for he or she may be too conditioned by past concepts. For this reason, we see how important the role of intelligence and understanding is, which adds a new type of awakening to the Self-realised State.

When we look at the life of the historical Buddha Shakyamuni, we can feel that he experienced suffering as well; he had human problems and sorrows. This must be seen clearly, for this understanding liberates from the false. A Buddha is not invincible. A Self-realised being can be even more vulnerable to the difficulties of this insensitive dimension than ordinary people. This is particularly true when the Heart is awakened as well.

Not only is it true that Enlightenment frees us from suffering and gives enormous strength, the opposite is also true. Enlightenment makes us much more sensitive and conscious of difficulties. What this means is that Enlightenment creates a new type of suffering. We call it Pure Suffering. Pure Suffering is not caused by the neurotic tendencies of the mind but reflects the reality of being human.

The Human Buddha is beyond humanness as well as beyond Buddhahood. He or she is beyond these polarities, living the true natural life of an awakened human being. The Human Buddha has not stopped evolving and growing, for his or her last breath has not yet been taken. He or she sees the necessity for neverending maturation on all levels. He or she fully accepts and honestly acknowledges the reality of human life, including the difficult parts of it as well. The Human Buddha acknowledges his or her human desires and needs, including emotional longing. The Human Buddha does, indeed, have desires and needs and experiences the various conflicts and contradictions of human life.

The difference between an ordinary human being and the Human Buddha is, however, enormous. It is not how they experience the human reality, which make them different, but from which place or perspective. The Human Buddha lives the human destiny, being rooted in the invisible dimension of the Beyond. He or she is one with the Divine. His or her mind is silent and free and the Heart, at all times, is immersed in the tranquil ecstasy, experiencing the constant joy of unity with the Beloved.

Oh yes, Buddha can be sad; yes, Buddha can cry; yes, Buddha can have a bad day; yes, Buddha, may experience frustration and become angry; yes, Buddha can make a wrong decision; yes, Buddha can drop a glass on the floor and spill tea on the carpet; yes, Buddha can be late or forget to come for a meeting; yes, Buddha can have desires and needs; yes, of course Buddha may want to experience human love, and not just compassion; yes, sometimes it is difficult for a Buddha to be a human; yes, Buddha still must learn how to be a human.

Buddha is free to be human.
Buddha is free to be beyond freedom.
The Human Buddha is Free and beyond Freedom

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"It is like sex was in colour before and is now in black and white." – middle aged man speaking 6 months after his circumcision.

I was circumcised when I was 3 years old – it is my first memory.  I remember blowing into a balloon at the doctors surgery, falling unconscious and then waking up with a fire in my lap.  My penis hurt incredibly and it was wrapped very tightly in many bandages.  When we were walking from the surgery to the car I had to stop in the street and ask my mother to unwrap the bandages which were so tight and constricitng.  She refused at first, until I stopped walking any further and started screaming.  There was a momentary relief when the tight bandages cames off but the pain didn’t go away. At that moment I knew I’d lost something, even at 3 I remember feeling real loss and astonishment at what had happend.


Circumcised men experience less sexual pleasure. Circumcision removes twenty thousand nerve-endings. The rubbing of clothing on the sensitive mucosal membranes of the glans of the penis, the cause it to form callouses further reducing sensation.  With removal of the foreskin the penis also loses its only moving part, this prevents the gliding action during sex, making sex without lubrication painful for both partners.

Studies done by the Institute of Human Sexuality using micro-filament pressure wires have shown that circumcision causes losses of sensation of between 30% and 60%. This is just straight sensitivity and does not account for losses in pleasure due to callouses forming on the glans and the loss of the penis’ only moving part.

The issue of sexual sensitivity is one that has been largely ignored, there are two reasons for this: firstly most circumcisions take place on boys before they are sexually active so they have no benchmark; secondly circumcised men who hear this often go into denial, they do not want to confront the unpleasant fact that they have been robbed.

Foreskin Restoration

A few men who have suffered circumcision have figured out they are missing something and are trying to reverse the process. Surgery to restore the foreskin, where available, is expensive and fraught with complications. Manual stretching of the skin is much safer but the process takes many years, is inconvienient and uncomfortable and looks hilarious as guys attach sticky tape, weights, rubber o-rings and various homemade skin stretching paraphernalia to their dicks. 

Restoration restores the cosmetic appearance of the intact penis allows the callouses to slough off, and restores the gliding action during sex.  The nerve endings are gone forever.

I am in the midst of this process.  This is my third attempt at foreskin restoration, the first ended because I was just 20 and it was too emotionally harrowing, the second because of lack of support from my then partner.  This time is going better it was intially an emotionally intense process as I not only have come to terms with having had a large portion of my sexual pleasure irretrievably taken but also to deal with healing the physical and psychological scarring the circumcision caused.

Although there are many many foreskin restoration methods and devices I found nearly all devices tricky  to use and uncomfortable so now I stick with manual methods

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TrungpaFrom the introduction to "Journey without Goal: The Tantric Wisdom of the Buddha"

Many people in America have heard about tantra as the "sudden path" – the quick way to enlightenment.  Or they have heard that tantra is a form of free expression or sexual liberation or some kind of full-blown emotionalism.  But it is important to realise that tantra is not separate from the rest of the Buddhist path. Exotic ideas about tantra are not just misconceptions, they could be quite destructive.  It is both dangerous and fruitless to attempt to practice tantra without first establishing a firm grounding in the basic Buddhist teachings.

Tantra literally means "continuity" or "thread" Hinayana, mahayana and vajrayana are a continuous thread of sympathy and sanity which is never broken.  It is extremely important to understand at the outset that vajrayana is a continuation of the previous two yanas and that without proper training in the hinayana and mahayana disciplines, it is impossible to step onto the tantric path.

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12 Years

Have been reliably informed that from beginning of the search to the initial breakthrough takes at least 12 years (sometimes a lot longer). 

Had cause to reference my first post to alt.magick today and see it’s dated – 2 Dec 1996, and that was about the time the seeking started.  Will let y’all know how things stand in 2008…

See my first ever post to alt.magick and the responses::
Stopped giving a fuck what people think of me a while ago but if I still did would be cringing about revealing that now.

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From: http://www.innovationalberta.com/article.php?articleid=282



Intro: It’s easy to tease Dr. Kevin Smith that he tortures plants. The
growth chambers in his lab at the University of Lethbridge are designed
to create stressful conditions for the echinechae and sage that he’s
studying. What he’s interested in is producing the special compounds
that give these plants their medicinal qualities.

Dr. Kevin Smith

KS: We essentially try to turn on the defense pathways within plants
which are within nature turned on due to either pathogen attack or due
to heavy metal situations where there’s high concentrations of heavy
metals. So in the lab to simulate this, we either spray these plants
with solutions of heavy metals and they believe they are under some
form of attack and they produce these compounds to try to defend
themselves. Or we actually treat them with pathogens. We culture and
grow microbial pathogens that kill plants. And we treat the plants with
those and see what kind of response we get.


KS: The compounds have various structures. They go across all the
different natural product pathways. Different plants produce different
compounds. The one thing they have in common is they play a role in


KS: We’ve looked at a number of different plant species. A lot of them
are plants that have been utilized in traditional medicine practices,
either in other parts of the world or even in North America within the
native population. We deal with three different species of echninea, a
number of plants within the sage family. We‘ve recently started working
with some plants that are strictly Chinese medicine-type plants to see
what we can observe within those plants.


KS: Yes, when we initiated this work, this was work we were focusing
on, determining how plants were protecting themselves, so we could
consider increasing harvestable yields and quality. And from that, it’s
become a quest to look for these compounds as they might act as
anti-microbial compounds in medicine and more recently, as anti-cancer
and anti-inflammatory compounds.


KS: We have been able to show that by stressing these plants we can
produce anti-microbial activity in a significant number of the plants….

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