I seek not because there is any hope of finding but because I have no choice. The seeking is happening. Also intellectually the knowledge is there that as long as the seeking continues what it is I am searching for cannot be found.
Yet to stop searching is itself effort based – in fact right now far more effort would have to be put into not seeking than into seeking. Osho:
The day
I stopped seeking… and it is not right to say that
I stopped seeking, better will be to say the day seeking
stopped. Let me repeat it: the better way to say it
is the day the seeking stopped. Because if I stop it
then I am there again. Now stopping becomes my effort,
now stopping becomes my desire, and desire goes on existing
in a very subtle way.
What to do but continue searching for that which I know cannot be found – how fucking futile.
The final understanding comes when the time is right for it. It is a paradox because, on the one hand, there is nothing that one can do to make it happen, but on the other hand, it never would happen without all of the efforts that one makes along the way. There is a Sufi saying “What we speak about cannot be found by seeking; yet only seekers find it.”