Archive for the ‘sacred sex’ Category

Soft Entry

Lingam_dualA friend was recently telling me about some young couples having trouble with their sex life after attending a Bernie Prior course and trying to focus on spontaneous lovemaking lovemaking.  The guys were often having erection problems.  Here is my fail-safe method of dealing with erection problems.

firstly it happens to every man.  If a man denies it happening to him he’s either a liar OR has not had much sex.

To some guys it happens when using a condom after having unprotected sex for some time. To some it happens when you spot blood during his partner’s period or a white discharge during ovulation. To some it happens when they’ve already had sex twice are still horny in the head but the penis is not cooperating. If you are a man realise it will happen to you & know what?  Its great.  A soft penis gives you the chance to practise one of the most amazing forms of sex.  Soft entry.

Now the woman has to help the man so make a game of it.  The woman should lie on her back with her feet up below her ass.  The man kneels between her legs.  She should relax her yoni and then using two fingers (like holding a cigarette) pull the man inside her.  Or the man can also use the same two fingered technigue to push yourself into her.

The first time you try it probably won’t work.  Don’t get embarassed and stop from fear. Having a soft penis at the momnet of sex goes against a lot of male conditioning and expectations.  The man should be easy on himself and the woman encouraging and willing. For the man Keep simling, look into her eyes and just rub the head of the penis on the clitoris and entrance to the yoni.  The woman should lie back on her elbows relax and feel loving.  After the yoni relaxes and opens the lignam should slide in.

Now once you are in just lie there a bit and enjoy it.  Stroke each other, kiss.  Don’t rush.  After a while the vajra will start to grow hard inside her.  This is the most amazing feeling for both of you.  Because the yoni has acommodated to the soft prick it will now feel bigger than it ever has.  The two of you will "fit" like you never have.

Now begin sex, but very slowly.  Best is if the erection fades a few times during the session and then grows again.  Sex becomes a kind of dance like this.  I’ve had sex for close to 3 hours like this (I could only tell because I changed the CD 5 times it seemed like 20 minutes my time sense was so lost). After the sex both of you will feel so HIGH.  The energy will be flowing tremendously.

If you are doing this with a condom put the condom on while the lingnam is limp.  This can be trick  (the man has to pinch the tip of it) but is quite doable.  Roll down a few extra folds.

Noww you may find this whole soft entry thing tricky.  We are conditioned that a soft prick is something to be embarassed about and most guys are really embarassed to be naked and limp in front of a woman.  This is because he feels vulnerable.  If a man can do it and still love himself – women will find this confidence incredibly hot.  Much hotter than some viagra pumped "stud" who using his penis like a chisel.

And here’s a email from a friend I told about this:

"Alright I fieldtested it this night with my girlfriend and she *loved* it. Awesome!  Apart from the shared emotional experience and slow sensual start, it keeps your stamina up when you are actually trying to focus on going soft every 10 minutes or so. Its a great frame to be in and you dont stress about having to fuck her hard all the time. Thank you for mentioning this gem."


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Sex and Desire

YabyumSo now I find myself examining deeply the nature of sex and desire.  Is it necessary for one on the path to transcend desire or rather will the desire drop away naturally of its own accord?  And if the desire drops does the sex?

Recently I dropped all desire/need for alcohol and marijuana.  Ocasionally I have a glass or a puff and enjoy but there is no desire to seek it out, no need to imbibe while others around are so doing and also no judgement, rejection or running away from it.  So the sex feels like it could be the same story but this desire/attachment goes far far far deeper.

Readng about those practising celibacy or bramacharaya is interesting.  My reactions used to be "They are mad and they are repressed".  This attitude is softening – celibacy is a common feature among those on the religious path – the withdrawal from sex.  Devout Christian, Hindi and Bhuddist monks and nuns are all chaste.

There are other paths of course.  Alchemy, Tantra and Taoism indicate  that it is not so much abstinence from sex that is important but rather continence.  For men this certianly means avoidance of spilling semen. 

If one thinks about this the is a definite logic at work here.  Sperm contains billions and billions of potential human beings – surely these must take a lot of energy to create? If this energy is being directed outward perhaps it is unavailable for spirtiual growth.  For both sexes this continance seems to be avoidance of explosive orgasm.

My experience is that there has of late been a shift in my desire.  I no longer automatically want to have sex with every gorgeous women I  hang out with.  The possibility has arisen to enjoy the company without the desire.  In the past this desire has usually been there subtly guiding my actions.

There is still however the feeling that I have just scratched the surface of the sex/orgasm experience and there is a curiosity to travel further. Even with practising continence (which I have for some time)  there is still a feeling that there is far more to be explored.  This kind of deep commited exploration requires a willing and able partner – one not content with paddling in the shallows.

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