Archive for the ‘sacred sexuality’ Category

David Deida

My friend Rasada recommended him to me.  This is it exactly, just what I was talking about in the previous posting!  An excerpt from an interview…

DEIDA               Yes.  It is easy to
practice surrendering as love in the ways you find comfortable.  But
you should practice flowing with the energy of love that you most
resist. If you are comfortable giving tender motherly love but
resistant to humping your man like a drunken slut, then you have more
to learn in the art of transmitting love and light.

HYGEIA              This
is truly embodying love, not just feeling the emotions or thinking or
talking about it.  You are saying that spiritual growth for a woman
means, among other things, growing in your capacity to flow energy and
love through your body;

              Yes, you learn to flow with every possible energy, savage
and pristine, motherly and witch-like, bitchy and saintly. To love this
big, you must be willing to feel every possible emotion…  whether you
like it or not.

HYGEIA            Describe the three stages of masculine feminine relationships. 

First, my use “of masculine and feminine” refers not to gender but to
sexual “essence”.   So these principles apply equally to gay, lesbian
and all types of intimate relationships.  Stage one we could describe
as the stereotype macho jerk and submissive housewife.  Each is
selfishly seeking their own pleasure and fulfillment with little regard
for the other and disagreements are dealt with through force and

HYGEIA             The
pain and conflict of stage one move couples to learn how to communicate
better; developing listening skills, setting barriers, keeping your
word etc.

             All of which are valuable and necessary. Also as women
grow into second stage, they tend to become more decisive and
self-directed and men tend to become more sensitive, learn to feel
their feelings, explore music, dance, nature. Women enjoy their
independence and careers. Men enjoy their capacity to let go and allow
things to be without effort. Women become more purposeful and success
oriented. Men become more radiant and sensually alive.

HYGEIA              So
in stage two men and women become more independent by men developing
their feminine side and women their masculine.   They also become more

             Exactly.  There is not the dramatic attraction and
repulsion there was in stage one.  Often this may lead to sexual
neutralization and spiritual stagnation.  Women can become hardened and
men can lose their edge. Stage two spiritually oriented people often
become stiffened women and spineless men–very efficient and quite
safe, but their sexual and spiritual passion screams for satisfaction.

HYGEIA             You are describing many of the relationships in Boulder.

DEIDA                Correct.  One big missing piece in stage two is that occasionally,
women want to be ravished by a dangerously loving man of strength and
integrity. And men want to be invited into pleasure by a sultry slut
with a deep and open heart. 

HYGEIA             These longings are our very nature and must be fulfilled.   

Of course. If you suppress the darker, more wicked textures of love,
then your sexuality becomes tepid. And the same is true spiritually:
unless you can really "do it" with the divine, your spiritual heart
begins to starve.

HYGEIA              Say more.

Without knowing the ever-present edge of death a man can become a
sexual and spiritual wimp.  The sensitive, stage two man must now grow
to risk everything for the sake of love.  He realizes that he must
discover and live his deepest purpose in life or die a mediocre fizzle.
He can no longer tolerate bullshit, his own or his lady’s.

Read the rest and see other articles on his website


Read Full Post »